02/11/2008
Mollie moves out to Auburn
When I came home from work today Tom's daughter was already gone. Tom had taken her and big part of her stuff to a trailer park in Auburn where her half-sister is living with the younger one of her two kids. Within the next couple of weeks Mollie's mom is going to move in with them too. 
That way everybody is hoping to be able to provide 24/7 surveillance and alternative schooling, which might be my stepdaughter's last chance at a decent life in the future. Since neither Mollie's mother nor her sister have jobs, they hopefully can take turns at taking care of the girl and the constant stream of small, medium size and huge problems she creates for herself.
It's still very frustrating to see her go back to that unhealthy environment after just two years. I guess we'll just have to take this a day at a time, hoping for a miracle.
20:20 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
02/09/2008
water in the basement
One of the big differences between Germany and the USA is the way houses are built. Almost all German houses have a basement, but none of the many basements I have seen (and lived in) in Germany needed a sump pump. The whole concept of that machine was beyond me when I first saw one, looking at houses to buy in Fort Wayne.
Just think about it! Instead of sealing your basement against ground water from the outside when building it, you let water leak into the basement on purpose, by means of drain tiles in your yard, and then pump it back out into the sewer. Now, what if that sump pump ever quits working? 
Oh, that's when the secondary pump will kick in, right? Aha, but what if the secondary pump quit working months ago, without you even noticing?
Well, that's what happened in our basement today. Tom was at work, I had slept in late and was going to go swimming at the YMCA. While I got my coat I heard a strange beep coming from the basement. At least the leak alarm worked.
I spent the rest of my day carrying buckets full of icecold, muddy water from the basement to the kitchen. Tom went to the hardware store as soon as he came home from work. It took us ten hours to get everything fixed.
19:25 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/14/2008
Education vs. Genetics
I used to believe, that personality and character are mostly the result of education. So I educated my daughter with lots of love, good example, plenty of freedom, information and explanation whenever I gave any kind of advice or set any rules, constantly communicating in a friendly, positive way - and totally non-violent/non-aggressive.
I respected my daughter as an intelligent, capable, full-fledged person, and treated her accordingly, from the day she was born. With fabulous results. She is everything I ever hoped for her to be. Independent, responsible, able to take care of herself, honest, strong, just a perfect young woman.
Tom's opinion was about the same as mine, in this respect. So the education he gave his daughter (who is 4 years younger than mine) has been pretty much the same kind, that my daughter received from me. Positive, loving, leading by example and relying on information and advice, not using force or restrictions of freedom.
Today we had to revise our views on this. All the best of education will not work, when you are dealing with poor genetic material. You can probably develop good genes into a superior personality by applying high standards of education. But, sadly, even the best of intentions in your education efforts will not help to shape a good character out of poor genes.
When I came home today, Tom was visibly stressed out over something his daughter had done. More than he had been on previous occasions, when she had done bad things. When I asked him, what had happened, he said *What, do you think, is the very worst she could have done?*
.........................That's exactly what she did.
11:55 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
03/30/2007
Funeral in Kansas City
His five children, four of his 7 grandchildren, his stepchildren and friends and family all came to Ted's funeral. We drove there from Fort Wayne, an 11 hour trip. It was the first time for me to participate in an open casket ceremony. That is definitely not the way I want to be burried, when my time comes. I can't think of anything more horrifying than having to sit there, facing the dead body of a person you loved, and listening to a preacher's speach. 
14:00 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
03/26/2007
Ted died
When I came home from work today, I knew something was terribly wrong. *Bad news* was written all across Tom's face. Then he told me that his father had died somewhere around 4 p.m. It wasn't a big surprise, after watching him deteriorate over the past year in this nursing home in Kansas City.
We had been trying hard to pursuade him to move in with us, and lately it seemed like Ted would finally do it. Tom was preparing to drive out there and pick him up. Now we'll all drive there for the funeral on Thursday. My father-in-law was the only person in this part of my family who honestly accepted me, while everybody else showed something between indifference and hostility.
16:30 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
12/20/2006
Bye-bye Lincoln
OK, this was a *temporary* assignment from the very start - but until about 10 days ago I had been hoping for something *permanent* to open up here. That didn't happen. I was informed that, effective December 22nd, my services will no longer be needed.
We don't have the head-count, we don't have the budget, our sales have been going down, we are trying to reduce the number of contractors , ...... you pick whatever reason you like. The result is still that I will be out of a job two days before Christmas.
But then, there is always a bright side to look at. My assignment at Lincoln was supposed to last 6 to 8 weeks, and turned out to be almost 9 months. I gathered valuable insight into the inner workings of *Corporate America*. I made over a dozen new friends, and only one new enemy (who wouldn't admit that, when asked directly). I aquired new skills and practiced old ones. And I had a lot of fun!
Facing forward instead of looking back, I think this is a chance for me to free up my mind and re-focus on moving my career back on track. Of course I could do just about *anything*, but why waste my knowledge, expertise, talent, vision, dedication and time - on a job that barely pays enough to survive, much less what I am worth?
The loss for Lincoln Foodservice Products is much greater than the loss for me. They lost an $80,000 p.a. employee (whom they could have bought at half price) while I only lost a $24,000 p.a. job (which shouldn't be too hard to replace).
13:25 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/13/2006
... and the car of the day is ...
Seven weeks after the accident Dimension Ford told us our van was fixed, and we should come pick it up. We had hoped for the insurance company to total it and just give us the money. But, no, they wanted to fix it. Their first estimate was $5,000 - the Ford shop estimated $6,000 - the bill was at $7,000 today.
And the car is still not ready to go. The headlight is loose, the sliding door is rattling, the horn doesn't honk, and worst: the car pulls to the right - probably because of two different tires on the front axle.
So, after driving a Nissan Sentra rental car for a month, and our old van for a day, I now got a Pontiac Vibe from the Ford shop. Will be interesting to see if they make it before we leave on our vacation trip to Munich this Friday.
07:47 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Email this
09/05/2006
Will I need to look for a new job?
Just when I was really getting the hang of Lincoln and feeling at home there, bad news came my way.
My boss, the General Manager of Merco/Savory, was fired today. And he left so quickly, that I didn't even get to say good-bye.
Thinking back, I had watched him make several costly mistakes - which he feverishly tried to cover up or fix lately. He also never bothered to follow any of the company's rules for standard procedures. And instead of giving his people (including me) directives, he was micro-managing way too much.
On the other hand - who am I to judge? My (ex)boss also was really moving Merco/Savory forward visibly, selling above plan and always full of new great ideas. He just got a little bit ahead of himself there, I guess.
But what will this mean for me? Still a temporary administrative assistant, now without an executive to assist. I had a very nice talk with Lincoln's CEO. He promised to let me know on Monday, the 11th.
I really hope I won't have to start searching again in October, after we come back from our trip to Munich.
04:00 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
07/24/2006
We'll need a new Van
Mollie wanted to stay at her friend's house in Churubusco, so Tom took Armani and the van and drove her there. I stayed home, reading my emails, just waiting for him to come home.
About half an hour after they had left Tom called me and said they had gotten into a bad wreck. Everybody was OK, just our van was totaled. Some older guy with a pick-up truck ran a STOP sign and hit our car at 45 mph.
I drove the Tracker out to where they were, on Carroll Road, right on the boarder of Huntertown. There was Armani, with a man who lives on that intersection, Mollie sitting on the gras, Tom talking to the Sheriff, a few neighbours' kids checking out the scene.
Doesn't look like the van can be fixed - the frame was probably bent. Tom and Mollie and Armani were extremely lucky, they could have been killed. How can somebody not see a STOP sign, plus not even slow down, plus run into a pretty big van without even touching his brakes? I think the guy was either asleep or drunk.
14:20 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
07/02/2006
Alejandra moves back to Germany
Her plane took off Fort Wayne airport today at 11:55 a.m.
I keep telling myself that it is what she wants to do, that I should be proud of her for taking her life in her own hands, that she would have - at most - stayed with me for one more year.
I know she'll be having lots of fun. She will have her dad and her best friend's family to take care of her. She will be making a big step ahead and have the chance to grow, become the responsible adult that she thinks she already is.
And then there is the internet, the telephone, and we'll visit each other. She will always be my girl, and I should be proud of myself too, for accomplishing what had been my goals with her education: make her strong, independent, self-confident, fearless, with a free will and the energy to pull thru.
But on the other hand I think, she isn't ready yet. Or, maybe, I'm not ready yet.
04:55 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0) | Email this
05/05/2006
Ted keeps postponing his move
Tom's dad is in pretty bad shape, health-wise. He has been diagnosed with multiple system atrophy a while ago and doctors fill him up with dozens of pills that counteract each other.
When we bought our house we specifically looked for one with enough room and the possibility to have Ted move in with us. Tom already got quotes on putting a shower in the downstairs bathroom and we were talking about Ted moving in late April or early May.
But every time Tom called his dad to get a certain date for the move, there was some other reason why he couldn't make that decision just yet. Right now the tentative date is set for August, but I won't believe that until I actually see Ted here.
He is such a nice person, stubborn and funny, I'd love to have him around. I also believe his health would improve if he had somebody taking good care of him, maybe get him off some of these pills.
07:45 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
03/28/2006
I still have to work full time
One of my long-time dreams hasn't been fulfilled yet: being my own boss, or at least working only part time for some other person.
I hoped, since the USA has only around 4% unemployment, I would be able to find a part time job that isn't total crap. Maybe even one that I could use my three languages for. But so far that didn't work out. It took three months to find a job that would pay reasonable money to be able to support myself and my family. And, being a new immigrant, I couldn't be too picky either.
But that doesn't mean I'll be giving up on my dream! I'll keep working away on my 40+ hours job - with eyes and ears wide open for possible chances coming my way.
07:25 Posted in 07, Set-backs, Frustrations and Losses | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this