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11/21/2004

About us getting married in Las Vegas

OK, I agree, we've been married before - and failed.  I am Tom's third wife, he is my second husband. But just because you ended up getting a divorce before, that doesn't mean something's wrong with marriage in general, or that you are unable to commit to it.

It just means you had a chance to learn and grow - and next time you'll be a better husband or wife. Maybe people are stuck in an unhappy marriage themselves, which might lead them to believe that nobody can be happily married, or nobody should even try.

We received advice unasked for:

  • remember what happened in your previous marriage, you don't want that again
  • you should be old enough to know, marriage doesn't work
  • you don't need to sign a paper, just to be able to live together
  • be careful, don't get married without a marriage contract
  • you have children already, wait until they grow up

It's good to know though, that there are others like us, those who still believe in marriage:

  • if you really want to commit to mutual support, sign that paper
  • some things are easier, if you're legally married to each other
  • your children will see how a loving couple treats each other, instead of watching their parents fight
  • you will be better parents when you are happy
  • with the experience of previous marriages, you will do it right this time
  • Las Vegas is such a fun place to get married, I wish I could have done it there too

06:55 Posted in Opinions | Permalink | Comments (0)

We got married in Las Vegas

My birthday is November 25th, Thanksgiving is around that time too. So we told everybody that my birthday present in 2004 would be a trip to Las Vegas. Only very few people guessed, what we were really up to. Everybody probably thought, I wouldn't want to be married ever again - after this expensive divorce, that I had just barely survived.

We flew to Las Vegas on November 20th - a monthiversary! - and had a civil marriage on Sunday, November 21st 2004. Nothing fancy, no limousine, no flashy dress, just black jeans and a white shirt for both of us. The most expensive part were the rings.  medium_lv_hilton.jpg

What a fabulous week we had! I'd recommend Las Vegas to everybody. If you want to have fun, relax, and have a hassle-free wedding - there is no better place. After coming back home as husband and wife, we had some major explaining and some minor stress-levels to go thru. Of course Alejandra didn't like it at all - even though nothing changes for her.

Want to do it too?

Here's my instructions (in German):
Anleitung zum Heiraten in Las Vegas

04:00 Posted in 01, History | Permalink | Comments (0)

11/10/2004

Both divorces finalized

Tom's paperwork was easier. Once he decided to have his lawyer finalize it, things went pretty fast. June 2004 he was a free man. Mine took longer. Because my ex wanted to have a lot more money, and we had to set up a contract about how and why and when I have to pay him, and I have to pay the judge, and the notary, and all of Alejandra's support. All together in total I ended up paying 60,000 € just to be free.

I'm still not done paying, of course, but as of November 10th 2004 I am a free person again. Deeply in debt, and deeply satisfied. Fernando got a load of money - and I got all the rest: I have Alejandra, I own two apartments, I found Tom, my life ahead looks bright and shiny.

The interpreter in court (because Fernando doesn't know enough German after 18 years!) talked to me for a while, during our wait outside the judge's office. After skimming thru that *contract* she said *But, do you realize that this isn't very fair? You are paying everything, while he doesn't even pay child support!*. I said *I know, but I don't care. I believe in automatic justice - Fernando will meet his, sooner or later.*.

06:15 Posted in 01, History | Permalink | Comments (0)