Karin's Adventures - 07_set-backs_frustrations_and_losses

Mollie moves out to Auburn

noreply@blogspirit.com (Karin Brenig) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:20:00 -0500

When I came home from work today Tom's daughter was already gone. Tom had taken her and big part of her stuff to a trailer park in Auburn where her half-sister is living with the younger one of her two kids. Within the next couple of weeks Mollie's mom is going to move in with them too.

That way everybody is hoping to be able to provide 24/7 surveillance and alternative schooling, which might be my stepdaughter's last chance at a decent life in the future. Since neither Mollie's mother nor her sister have jobs, they hopefully can take turns at taking care of the girl and the constant stream of small, medium size and huge problems she creates for herself.

It's still very frustrating to see her go back to that unhealthy environment after just two years. I guess we'll just have to take this a day at a time, hoping for a miracle.

water in the basement

noreply@blogspirit.com (Karin Brenig) — Sat, 9 Feb 2008 19:25:00 -0500

One of the big differences between Germany and the USA is the way houses are built. Almost all German houses have a basement, but none of the many basements I have seen (and lived in) in Germany needed a sump pump. The whole concept of that machine was beyond me when I first saw one, looking at houses to buy in Fort Wayne.

Just think about it! Instead of sealing your basement against ground water from the outside when building it, you let water leak into the basement on purpose, by means of drain tiles in your yard, and then pump it back out into the sewer. Now, what if that sump pump ever quits working? Oh, that's when the secondary pump will kick in, right? Aha, but what if the secondary pump quit working months ago, without you even noticing?

Well, that's what happened in our basement today. Tom was at work, I had slept in late and was going to go swimming at the YMCA. While I got my coat I heard a strange beep coming from the basement. At least the leak alarm worked.

I spent the rest of my day carrying buckets full of icecold, muddy water from the basement to the kitchen. Tom went to the hardware store as soon as he came home from work. It took us ten hours to get everything fixed.

Education vs. Genetics

noreply@blogspirit.com (Karin Brenig) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 11:55:00 -0500

I used to believe, that personality and character are mostly the result of education. So I educated my daughter with lots of love, good example, plenty of freedom, information and explanation whenever I gave any kind of advice or set any rules, constantly communicating in a friendly, positive way - and totally non-violent/non-aggressive.

I respected my daughter as an intelligent, capable, full-fledged person, and treated her accordingly, from the day she was born. With fabulous results. She is everything I ever hoped for her to be. Independent, responsible, able to take care of herself, honest, strong, just a perfect young woman.

Tom's opinion was about the same as mine, in this respect. So the education he gave his daughter (who is 4 years younger than mine) has been pretty much the same kind, that my daughter received from me. Positive, loving, leading by example and relying on information and advice, not using force or restrictions of freedom.

Today we had to revise our views on this. All the best of education will not work, when you are dealing with poor genetic material. You can probably develop good genes into a superior personality by applying high standards of education. But, sadly, even the best of intentions in your education efforts will not help to shape a good character out of poor genes.

When I came home today, Tom was visibly stressed out over something his daughter had done. More than he had been on previous occasions, when she had done bad things. When I asked him, what had happened, he said *What, do you think, is the very worst she could have done?*

.........................That's exactly what she did.

Funeral in Kansas City

noreply@blogspirit.com (Karin Brenig) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 14:00:00 -0500

His five children, four of his 7 grandchildren, his stepchildren and friends and family all came to Ted's funeral. We drove there from Fort Wayne, an 11 hour trip. It was the first time for me to participate in an open casket ceremony. That is definitely not the way I want to be burried, when my time comes. I can't think of anything more horrifying than having to sit there, facing the dead body of a person you loved, and listening to a preacher's speach.